Why Having a Host Family is Great

Let me be clear, I live on my own by now. But a host family is a great resource (if I may treat them so instrumentally, for a moment) when you’re new to a city and, in general, a country. They correct your language, they criticize your imported social norms — which you can then change or keep, according to your character — and they can generally just be a lot of fun.

Today I stopped by and chatted with my host mother and sister. After a bowl of soup and some sunflower oil-slathered fried potatoes, they taught me a few of the ways of the world:

• If a man wants me to wear something, he should buy it for me.
• I should never admit to a potential professional contact that I hit it off with that when I say “I have to go home,” I mean back to my boyfriend’s place.

These moments are especially ironic, considering my Fulbright research is in gender studies. But as always, I remember not to take Russia too seriously, so as not to seriously damage my psyche.

As another American woman who researched in Russia shared with me, Russia has balms to soothe the wounds it causes. In her words, there was no stress here that couldn’t be overcome with a good cry, followed by a pastry and a tiny plastic cup of espresso from Sever, a St. Petersburg confectionary.

I’d add that a quick visit to the host fam can’t hurt, either.

 

Fargo through the eyes of a Russian

Novgorodians are enamored with the idea of “Novgorod through the eyes of a foreigner.” It was the theme of my talk at a cultural evening two years ago, when I was studying Russian in Novgorod State University’s (NovGU) prepatory department. Then it was the theme of a talk I gave at a Novgorod history conference in September. In December, it was the theme of a photography contest for the NovGU foreign students.

There’s always payback: America through the eyes of a Russian. There’s the Soviet-era duo of Ilf and Petrov, who traveled the United States in the 1930s to discover the truth of America for themselves. (Their travels were repeated recently in a Russian TV show, “One Story America.”) Then there’s Russian web-designer Artemii Lebedev’s blog documenting his 2008 jaunt through the United States. Lebedev’s route included my hometown, Fargo, thanks to the Coen brothers’ film of the same name.

Lebedev posts a smattering of photos and superficial observations: San Francisco, great trolley system; Seattle, convenient bike racks on buses; Billings, funny-looking bent lightposts.

Then Lebedev gets to North Dakota. He passes through the capital, Bismarck (“Nothing to see in this town.”). Then he passes judgment on Fargo: “If there wasn’t a movie by the same name, I doubt I would have decided to spend the night in this little town.” That was a little insulting, but he was right on when he wrote, “Reviews from people who stayed at local hotels all wrote the same thing, ‘We couldn’t fall asleep normally, because all night the trains were running and whistling right under our windows.’” My grandmother, who used to live a block from the railroad tracks, can attest to that.

The final photograph of Fargo was the observation that got me ruffled, though I give the guy credit for his simile: “In the provinces there’s not enough money for poles, so the traffic lights hang like sailors after a pirate attack.”

It’s one thing when we say, “Well…It’s a great place to raise kids!” and a totally different feeling when someone whizzes through the entire United States and passes judgment on your home. However, Lebedev is known for his caustic commentary, so it’s nothing personal. And even if the attention is negative, it’s still interesting to hear a foreigner’s opinion.